


The Case Of The Missing Cookies

by Bass_Line



Category: Seven Kingdoms: The Princess Problem (Visual Novel)
Genre: Basically Penelope goes searching for her cookies, I like to think that Ana gives nicknames to everyone at the summit, I tagged a pairing but... they don't appear until the end, Penelope probably won't make a good detective though, Set during Week 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bass_Line/pseuds/Bass_Line
Summary: Alternative title: Penelope's Debut As A Cookie Detective
Relationships: Clarmont/Hise Pirate
Kudos: 4





	The Case Of The Missing Cookies

"I do hope the cookies I baked are ready." Penelope mumbled to herself as she made her way to the kitchens stealthily, afraid that her fellow delegates would catch her doing something beneath a noble. She didn't wish to bring trouble to Lisle and Wellin, though she wished that her kingdom encouraged nobles to be on more equal footing with the commoners.

Upon arrival, she breathed a sigh of relief. The kitchen was devoid of servants, which made it easier for Penelope to approach the oven to pull out the tray containing her cookies. She was about to open the oven door when she noticed a shadow looming over her. Panicking, she grabbed the closest object and flung it at the person casting the shadow. The object landed with a loud clang, and Penelope took this opportunity to hide behind the table.

"... Sorry." The person apologised, a calm expression on his face as he cast a glance at the oven then at Penelope's hiding spot. The princess took a peek at the person, and blushed with embarrassment at her undignified reaction when in the face of danger. "... I won't tell anyone that you're here."

"T-Thank you kindly Duke Lyon." Penelope mustered a polite smile as she stood up, dusting her dress as calmly as possible. Lyon was kind enough to not comment about her lack of poise previously, and Penelope was grateful for his silence. "If I may ask, what are you doing in the kitchen Duke Lyon?"

"... I'm hungry, and the kitchen has food." Lyon replied, surveying the empty kitchen. A fire was still present, heating up a pot filled to the brim with a brown liquid. He wondered if the servants were forced to leave the kitchen unattended, he couldn't visualise Penelope knowing how to start a fire. "... Are you hungry too?"

"O-Oh! Actually… I thought that I should bake some cookies for my brother. A-As a nice gesture! W-Which doesn't seem to make much sense given that we're siblings…" Lyon nodded subtly, discreetly tugging on his collar. He didn't mean to make the princess uncomfortable, the heat from the fire was simply unbearable for him given his formal attire. Unfortunately, Penelope took it as a sign that the duke was uncomfortable around her. "My apologies! I-I didn't mean to bore you."

"I'm not bored. It's hot." Lyon curtly replied, startling Penelope with his deadpan tone. He sighed, making Penelope jump to further assumptions that he didn't wish to be in her company. "Your cookies."

"Pardon?"

"Are your cookies done?" Lyon didn't want to admit, but he was hoping that he could take a cookie with him back to the library. He had a tall stack of books waiting to be read, and he wanted to confirm if the plants that grew in Skalt's warmer regions were the same ones that grew in Revaire's colder regions. If so, he would happily research the origins of those plants and find out how the plants made their way to the other kingdom. Penelope nodded hastily, holding up her dress as she made her way towards the oven. She opened the oven, and let out a gasp. "Are they burnt?"

"They're gone!" Penelope remarked, about to pull out the tray with her bare hands before Lyon stopped her. Her face flushed, she couldn't believe that she had just embarrassed herself a second time in front of the duke. Lyon handed her a pair of oven mittens that were on a nearby table, which she gratefully put on before pulling the tray out of the oven. The tray was empty, true to her words. "I was sure that I placed them on this tray…"

"Someone could have taken it." It was an offhand comment, but Lyon wouldn't put it past some possible suspects. For instance, the servants might have mistaken the cookies to be baked by one of their coworkers and served it to the delegates for tea. It could also be Hamin, he had the reputation of sneaking into the kitchen and stealing whatever pastries the servants had prepared for meals. Penelope had a doubtful expression, she didn't wish to believe that someone had taken it, accident or not. "... You can ask around."

"That's a great idea! But who should I ask?" Lyon cast a glance at the stone floor, immediately noticing a mixture of sand and mud on it. There was only one location where the mix of sand and mud would originate from, which allowed him to immediately identify the culprit. However, he decided against informing the princess of the culprit's identity, for he had the feeling that she would greatly benefit from investigating alone. Still, he felt bad that Penelope had her cookies disappearing on her, and as such provided her a subtle hint.

"The floor looks dirty, even by kitchen standards." Penelope's pale pink eyes widened in realisation, her attention now directed at the muddy floor. She noticed that the mud was grainy, but couldn't tell that it was sand as they all hidden underneath the mud. Still, the smile on her face was an indication to Lyon that she had found her answer. "Your highness, I shall take my leave."

"Duke Lyon, did you not mention that you're hungry?" Lyon was about to leave the kitchen, but paused as Penelope called out to him. He was indeed hungry, but he figured that he could always make his way to the dining hall instead. From what he had heard, the delegates were always well-fed no matter the hour they arrived.

"... Meeting with the general. Bye." With that, Lyon slunk out of the kitchen. Penelope smiled, grateful that he had provided her with a hint to where she should go next. She had hoped that she could offer the duke something to eat, but she couldn't given that she was searching for her missing cookies. Sighing, she made her way out of the kitchen, careful to not knock any of the pots over.

_'There should be at least one stable boy at the stables, I do hope that I won't be bothering them…'_

* * *

"Oh, if it isn't poofy green princess!" Penelope turned around, an uneasy smile on her lips as Ana rode up to her, a cheeky grin on her face. It wasn't that Penelope disliked the warrior princess nor it was because of their kingdoms' strained relationship, it was simply due to the Wellin princess's inability to be at ease with Ana's casual form of speaking. "Is poofy green princess here to ride?"

"N-Not at all your highness, I'm actually looking for a stable boy and ask him a few questions." Normally, the nobles from Wellin would take offence at a Skalt warrior addressing them with anything other than their name. However, Penelope realised that Ana was simply bad at remembering the nobles' names. She didn't blame her, some nobles had names that were simply impossible to remember. Good thing titles existed, Penelope thought.

"Bah, is poofy green princess conducting searching like Annie?" Ana asked, referring to the previous week's investigation that was conducted by Ann of Hise. Penelope wasn't sure how she should answer, on one hand she _was_ conducting an investigation but on the other hand, it wasn't as if she was investigating someone's death. "Or are you wanting to talk to stuffy plant expert?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, fluffy sunny hair and woof woof smile?" Ana explained, much to Penelope's confusion. The was one noble that matched most of Ana's description, though Emmett was anything but stuffy. That was what separated him from Arland, he didn't care much for duty. "From land of strict rules and nos and boring dances!"

"I thought Wellin's the one with boring dances?"

"You is from land of strange dancing and weird backstabber talking! Not boring!"

"S-So… is Emmett with you then?" Right on cue, Emmett rode up to where Ana and she were with a pleased grin. "Oh! I didn't expect to see you Earl Emmett!"

"Your highness, what a pleasant surprise to see you here!" Emmett got off his horse, patting his horse's head fondly. Ana did the same, kicking a pebble shortly after. "I'm afraid the stableboys aren't free at the moment, you would have to wait should you wish to go riding."

"A-Ah… um! Have both of you seen my cookies?" Penelope _knew_ that she could have worded it better, but her mind blanked out upon realising that she hadn't planned how to go about asking people about her cookies. She had also realised that a princess asking about the whereabouts of her handmade cookies was, at worst, unbecoming of a noble from a kingdom known to be proper. Ana and Emmett laughed, a response that the Wellin princess tried to take in stride.

"Unfortunately, I haven't. I hope that you'll find your cookies!" Emmett replied, half-heartedly apologising for laughing at Penelope. The question made his day, and he was feeling much cheerier than he was prior to his horse ride. He wondered if he should ask for one of her cookies, but decided against it.

"Oh, you finding crumbly cakes? I heard Annie talking to shiny cat liar about them!"

"And… may I ask who 'shiny cat liar' is?"

"Shiny cat liar is shiny cat liar! Always telling women lies and breaking hearts with hammer of empty promises!"

"I think Princess Ana is referring to Prince Zarad?" Emmett hesitantly interpreted, with Ana looking back at him as though it was obvious. Penelope nodded in understanding, secretly hoping that Ana would describe others with more obvious descriptions. "Where did you last see them?"

"Annie ran away, but shiny cat liar should be at fancy garden where poofy green princess cried in first week!"

"Y-You saw that?!" Penelope exclaimed, momentarily forgetting her manners. She was shocked to find out that Ana was at the gazebo the whole time, yet she didn't notice her presence. Not that anyone would blame her, Ana was good at sneaking about when she wanted to. Ana nodded, oblivious to the Wellin princess's shock. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Poofy green princess looks like she need time alone, so I waited outside!" Penelope realised that Ana had been guarding the gazebo back then, assuming that she wanted time to herself.

"I… thank you for your kindness, your highness." Ana waved a hand at Penelope, dismissing her gratitude. "I'll be heading to the gazebo then."

"Do you need us to stalky stalky you? Evil statue princess is also there with shiny cat liar."

"Yes, we don't mind accompanying you!" Emmett agreed, though it was more of wanting to spend time with Penelope than to protect her from Gisette. He knew that she could handle the Revaire princess, even though it was for a few seconds. Penelope shook her head, not wishing to further trouble the two nobles any further. "If you're sure! Good luck finding your cookies!"

"Thank you both, please excuse me." Penelope managed a curtsy before she took off running, not once tripping over her dress. Emmett let out a low whistle, while Ana's bright blue eyes sparkled with amazement and respect at the feat.

"Wow! Poofy green princess is good at running in long clumsy dresses!"

"She sure is, isn't she?"

* * *

"Your highness, what a delight to see you! You seemed to have worked up quite a sweat, would you like to have tea with us?" Penelope gulped, timidly curtsying upon reaching the gazebo. She was aware that Ana had warned her about Gisette, but she couldn't muster up the courage to look the Revaire princess in the eyes. Zarad chuckled breezily, his lips forming an elongated crescent at Penelope's arrival. "Please, do join us. I fear that I can't fend for myself with the heartbreaker around."

"My dear, weren't you not the one who wished to have an audience with me?"

"I should think that my beloved cousin will be much better company than you!" Penelope was ashamed to admit, but she was absolutely _horrified_ that Gisette was taking her role as Vienna seriously enough to practice. She had heard whispers from the actors that Gisette spared no care for the lead role, and she was inclined to believe them. "Serah, pray tell. Wouldn't Prince Armand be better off if _you_ took his place instead?"

"Vienna! You would rather sleep with your cousin than me? What does she have and I don't?"

"A stellar personality for one, my good prince."

"Have you seen my cookies?!" Penelope blurted out, unable to keep up with the two royals' banter. She immediately clamped her mouth with both hands, but it was too late. They had heard what she had asked, amusement dancing in their eyes. She felt akin to a prey trapped between two predators competing to see who gets to make the kill. _'I… I have to be strong. E-Even if it means Her Highness making the play harder for me to act…'_

"I'm afraid I haven't, but I'm very much aware that you're a snack." Zarad winked, earning himself a kick to the shin courtesy from Gisette. "You wound me my dear, surely brute force isn't the only way to admit your affections for me?"

"Your highness, even _you_ must admit that it was inappropriate to liken Her Highness as such."

"I'm simply complimenting her! Surely you understand?" Zarad was now facing Penelope, a languid smile sent her way as an invitation to step closer to them. Gisette scowled, something that scared Penelope in numerous ways. "Your highness, there's no need to bare your fangs at me. You don't seem to care much for Her Highness anyways."

"Break all the hearts you want, but at least have the decency to respect women." Gisette coolly replied, her purple-blue eyes barely masking the frustration she now had towards the flirtatious prince. "And you, your cookies are at the harbour."

"Harbour? Why would it be there?" Gisette glared at Penelope, making no effort to hide her disdain. The Wellin princess knew that she should be frightened, the calm and ever polite ice princess was _actually_ displaying emotions that were less than proper in front of an audience. The knowledge itself was enough to send her scurrying in an undignified manner, her reputation be damned. "P-Please excuse me!"

"... Sometimes, I can never tell if you actually hate her or not." Zarad commented, earning herself another kick. He hummed a tune, his inability to keep a rhythm grating Gisette's ears. She rolled her eyes, of course she hated Penelope. Not that she would ever admit it in front of someone who sided with 'good'.

"Kindly keep your _unique_ tune to yourself." Zarad winked at her, continuing to hum but at a louder volume. Gisette shook her head, a tight smile painted on her face as she did her best to give off the impression that she was enjoying the Corval prince's company while regretting her decision to invest a moderate amount of effort into her role as Vienna.

* * *

"Oh lookie here Glitter, we've a guest!" Hamin declared as Penelope approached the two Hise delegates at the harbour, with Ann taking a huge bite from a cookie upon seeing the princess. Penelope repressed an inhumane screech, it was much too undignified no matter her haggard appearance. "Here to hear the call of the wind with us?"

"I'm… actually here for my cookies." Hamin cocked his eyebrows questioningly, while Ann's eyes widened with shock. She stared at her half eaten cookie, while Hamin proceeded to toss a slightly burnt cookie into his mouth.

"I don't suppose you're referring to a batch of overly sweet cookies that was left in the oven…?" Ann asked, with Penelope nodding resolutely. The pirate gulped, she didn't expect her latest treasure to be cookies made by the Wellin princess herself. "... Hamin, I believe I've just taken the most priceless treasure."

"Glitter! Keep this up and you'll be stealing the title of the greatest pirate from me!" Hamin replied, unaware of what Ann was trying to tell him. He took another cookie from the cloth bag holding it, offering Penelope his cookie. "Princess, wanna have this delicious cookie? The servant who made it is pretty good!"

"... Are my cookies really good?" Penelope couldn't believe her ears, someone _actually_ thought that her cookies were edible? Hamin blinked, nearly dropping the offered cookie. Had it not been for his quick reflexes, the cookie was sure to touch the harbour's muddy sand. "I… thank you. That was my first time baking cookies, and I wasn't sure how they would turn out…"

"Glitter, you've really outdone yourself! This is treasure beyond what I could've imagined!" Hamin clapped a hand repeatedly on Ann's back, sporting a toothy grin despite finding out that Ann had (unintentionally) stolen Penelope's cookies. A figure was approaching them, his red hair a striking sight to see against the clear blue sky. "Oh, and looks like Lord Handsome of Revaire's here to join us!"

"I didn't expect to find you here." Clarmont remarked, unsteadily walking up to the delegates. He wasn't used to walking on sand, especially slippery ones found at the harbour. Before he knew it, he slipped. Instead of meeting the sand, he was in the arms of the female pirate. Though given how weak she was, he was almost about to kiss the sand. "You know, when you told me about how your mother kidnapped your father, I was expecting a less chivalrous way of romancing me."

"Monty, I'm a damn romantic. Why kidnap you when I can sweep you off your feet?" Ann chuckled, barely managing to carry him bridal style. Hamin scoffed, sending a flirtatious wink to Penelope, who reacted with a dainty blush as well as politely looking away from him. "I thought you said that you've matters to attend?"

"I did, but Duke Lyon told me about how a batch of cookies went missing and given the timing of your invitation to, I quote, 'stuff ourselves silly with cookies stolen from the kitchen', I decided to visit you instead."

"Okay to be fair, I wasn't planning on stealing Her Highness's cookies! I mean, name me _one_ delegate who knows how to bake!" Ann protested, her green eyes furrowed with confusion over Clarmont's explanation. "Wait, _you_ went to the library?!"

"Just because books bore me doesn't mean-"

"Forget books! How could you rule out the most devastatingly handsome man on the Isle?" Hamin gasped, making Penelope wonder if he was truly shocked or just teasing his friends. Ann rolled her eyes, while her muscles strained under Clarmont's weight. "You're far too cruel, even by pirate standards!"

"Your highness, whatever you do, _never_ eat Hamin's stuff." Ann warned, with Penelope nodding along. Now that she knew what happened to her cookies, she wasn't sure if she should linger around the harbour any longer than she should. The sun was setting, and she had promised her brother that they would have dinner together. Sensing the princess's nervous glances between the setting sun as well as them, she decided to help Penelope out. Starting by dropping Clarmont. "Sorry Monty, but I gotta… uh… chaperone Her Highness's date with her brother!"

"... You could've chosen a less painful way, dearest."

* * *

"I never like froo froo sip sip events, but poofy green princess says that she's baking cookies!" Ana happily blurted out in front of Penelope's guests, with them responding with laughter and genuine smiles. Penelope greeted the warrior princess with a perfect curtsy, grateful that Ana accepted her invitation to a tea party. "I wanted to bring tiny silver forks but nice servants said that they needed it!"

"It's the thought that counts!" Penelope smiled warmly, sighing in relief as Ana went up to Gisette for conversation. Everyone was in high spirits, which could be seen as concerning given the unusual guest list. "Duke Lyon! You came!"

"... I'm hungry." Lyon mumbled, shuffling his way into the parlour. Penelope said nothing, directing him to the table where an assorted arrangement of desserts were placed. She had a smile on her face as Lyon examined her, his voice coming out once more after almost a minute of silence. "... You found your cookies?"

"Yes, and I'm extremely grateful for your help Duke Lyon!"

"I did nothing."

"But you're the one who pointed out the muddy floor!"

"... Harbour's the only place with muddy sand." Penelope did her best to maintain a neutral expression, the last thing she wanted was for others to worry about her. Still, she _should've_ noticed that there were grains of sand hidden in the mud. Why else would the mud found in the kitchen be grainy? Sensing the Wellin princess's faltering expression, Lyon silently made his way towards the desserts. Not that he wanted to leave a distressed Penelope alone, he simply wasn't equipped to deal with such situations.

"Pen! This is a great tea party, I'm pleased that you remembered to invite your big brother to it." Lisle walked up to his sister, dispelling Penelope's troubles almost instantly. A hand was placed on her head, with Lisle petting her fondly. "And to think you've made so many friends! Granted, I had my doubts towards Prince Zarad and Princess Gisette… but at least things are rather peaceful now."

"O-Oh! I don't… think that they view me as friends… most of them anyway."

"Nonsense, Lady Ann certainly sees you as one! As does Lord Clarmont, and I think Duke Lyon is interested in forming a friendship with you?"

"I-I'm not extremely smart though…"

"Have faith, dear cousin. Your likeability draws much attention to you, and renders all of us helpless like moths to a flame." The Wellin siblings flinched, with Lisle containing his emotions far better than his sister. They both curtsied, with the Revaire princess laughing at their greeting. "No need for formalities here, we're all friends aren't we?"

"... Sure?" Penelope could feel herself tongue-tied, wasn't Gisette practically snapping at her two days ago? Lisle was prepared to defend Penelope if necessary, but was unfortunately called away by Zarad and Ann. Gisette had the most perfect smile Penelope had ever witnessed, which made it all the more clear to her that she should be wary around the Revaire princess. "I was pleased to know that you've accepted my invitation."

"I couldn't pass up an opportunity to _bond_ with my cousin, could I?"

"... May I ask why you're investing so much effort into the upcoming play?" Gisette was genuinely surprised, she didn't expect Penelope to be so bold. Penelope stiffened, regretting her sudden burst of courage. Then again, at least she didn't have to worry about Gisette murdering her in front of other delegates, that bought her at least an hour before she had to ask Lisle to step in.

"I suppose I could grant you some honesty. I'm doing this for Lady Ann, not you. So you can stop worrying about me assassinating you at night." Gisette huffed, sorely wishing that she wasn't friends with Ann, who wanted them to get along even though the play was doomed to fail. Penelope nodded along, relieved to hear that she wasn't about to get herself killed anytime soon. "My, I really should eat something before Princess Ana eats them all. Please excuse me."

"Your highness, this tea party's simply smashing! Uh, not literally of course!" Emmett walked up to Penelope with an embarrassed grin, a hand mussing through his golden mop of hair while the other hand held a plate stacked with mostly Penelope's handmade cookies. "Your cookies are really good, we should bake something together soon!"

"Are you not afraid that it's a… less noble pursuit?"

"Not really! Even if I am, I wouldn't care as long as it's with you!" Penelope's heart skipped a beat upon hearing Emmett's bashful declaration, hoping that it didn't show on her face. "By the way-"

"Bet you can't finish all these cakes!" Hamin exclaimed, promptly stuffing cakes into his mouth with a wild glint in his emerald eyes. Ana smirked, shoving at least five slices of cake into her mouth. Clarmont was at Ana's side, trying to convince the warrior princess to at least slow down. Lyon huddled at a corner, muttering curses under his breath as Ann reminded Hamin that he promised to be on his best behaviour throughout the tea party. "I'm winning!"

"Hamin, for the last bloody time, be on your best behaviour!"


End file.
